Getting out of a Switchy Situation

Living in a boarding home, I meet all kinds of people from all different walks of life. Most of the time, it’s really neat and I tend to get to know them quickly. But sometimes, I may be thrusted into a situation involving a stranger that’s awkward and yet urgent at the same time. It’s one of those times when you don’t know what you would do until it happens to you. This is one of those times in my life.

So it was morning and I had just woken up from one of those dreams that start out really good and end in a nightmare. I don’t want to go into the specifics, but I dreamed I was at a bachelor party and I took a running jump and landed on a rolling table which crashed through the window and fell 50 floors with me holding on to it. Everybody knows that feeling of waking up and not knowing where you are for a moment; just the shock kinda gets you. I can tell that I’m in my room and I’m not falling anymore and that’s about it.

So I get up and stumble over to the dresser to get my clothes. I dress up, comb my hair a bit, and start heading downstairs to the dining room. I enter the dining room and there is only one person sitting at the huge table. Even though I can’t really tell because I’m so out of it, I know for a fact that I have never seen this girl before.

Like I said before, I live in a Boarding House where people come and go as they please. Sometimes random people just show up and start living there for a week or so. But this girl was definitely unique to that category. First off, she was a Neko, which I can dig. My Girlfriend is a Neko which is one of the reasons why I love her so much. Also, she had short, blood red hair and eyes that were the same color. She wore a red tank top, also the same color of her hair and eyes, which were just barely containing her impressively sized breasts. Her choice of pants was a pair of pitch black hot pants and to top it off, red stockings covered her elegant legs.

It was odd to see so much red that early in the morning. “Uh...hello?” I asked.

She looked up from the pancake she was eating and said “hi!” and then went back to eating. After a moment of thinking, my brain realized she must have been a new tenant in the Boarding House. She was living here now, which would explain why she was eating at the Dining table. I shrugged and turned around to head off into the kitchen to find something to eat for Breakfast but instead run into none other than the owner of the house, Klein.

Klein is a very tall individual with bright orange hair that waves out over his forehead. He had to bend down a bit to stare at me with his bright green eyes. “Oh, good morning Mr. Clouds! I take it you slept well?” He asked in his odd accent.

“No, not really. Say, who’s the new tenant?” I asked, pointing a thumb over my shoulder.

“Her name is ‘Kitty.’ Didn’t say how long she was staying though.” He explained. I looked back over my shoulder at the girl. Without looking up from her pancakes, she waves a hand in my direction. “Alright. I’m down with that. Say, do we still have milk?” I asked.
In walks Olive, my best friend/everybody else’s worst enemy. This blue haired girl despises everyone caught in the gaze of her yellow eyes except myself and a few select people. She walks in holding some kind of miniature sculpture in her arms. “Hey, Storm! I need you to...who is she?” Olive said angrily, glaring across the room at Kitty.

“Kitty; the new tenant.” Klein and I both said in unison. She kept up her glare for a few more moments then turned to me and said “Check it out! I got this at the local antique store!” She said, holding up the sculpture so I could see it better. It was a purple and black stone figure of a Succubus with both arms stretched out. Hanging from both hands appeared to be two identical rings. The figurine stood on hexagonal platform of the same color. I will admit, it was really cool looking.

“Do you like it? The inscription says ‘Gift of the Succubus Queen.’ The rings come off too so that might be what they are alluding to.” Olive explained.

“Yeah, it is kinda cool actually.” I admitted.

“That’s good! Because...well...it was kinda expensive and...I’ll need you to spot me a few hundred bucks…” she said. Suddenly, all remaining admiration for the object blew away. I just glared at Olive, not saying anything because what I really wanted to say was probably something I shouldn’t be saying with Klein so close.

Another figure walked up from behind, wearing a tuxedo and holding an old fashion camera. “Hey look! It’s Sycamore!” Olive pointed out, desperate to change the subject. The young man which she is referring to is a French photographer who takes hot pictures of random American girls and mails them back to the company he works for in Paris. But when I looked over at him, he seemed kinda down. “Hey, what’s wrong, bro? You’ve always been a morning person.” I said.

“Oh...uh...good morning Storm. It’s just that I haven’t met my quota of pictures. That model that was suppose to be here yesterday didn’t show up and the pictures are due tomorrow.” He said, staring down at his feet.

“Well, why don’t you ask her to pose instead? I mean, it’s worth a shot asking.” Klein said, pointing at Kitty. Sycamore looked up to see what he was talking about and spotted the Neko still eating. His face was struck with awe and he stared at her with open eyes. “Wow...who...is...she?” He asked slowly.

“Kitty, the new tenant.” Klein, Olive and I all said at the same time.

“She’s...she’s beautiful! I will go ask her, she will be perfect.” He said. So Sycamore walks around the table and begins talking to the Neko right away. I can’t hear what they are saying clearly, but I can see that Sycamore pulls Kitty’s attention away from her food and begins to talk to her about whatever it is that he’s planning. When he finishes, there's a pause and then she smiles. She nods and gets up to follow him. “Wow...that was easy…” Olive said.

Sycamore walked back up to us with Kitty by his side. “Okay, I’m  going to be in my studio for a while; taking pictures of Kitty. Is that okay?” he asked Klein.

“Of course! Just please; no nude pics. We’ve had a couple more new tenants arrive the other day and they still don’t quite know about you and your work. So just in case they walk into the Studio; keep her as clothed as possible.” Klein said.

Kitty wasn’t paying attention. Her eyes were trained on the sculpture. “Ooh! What’s that?” She asked, reaching out to touch it. Olive pulled it out of her reach. “It’s mine. That’s what it is.” She said angrily.

“Come now, Olive. Don’t be so disrespectful to the new tenant.” I said.

Kitty got up closer and stared at the figurine. “Cool! Is that a Succubus? ...she looks hot! Hey, do these rings come off?” She asked, reaching forward and plunking the ring out of the Succubus Queen’s right hand.

“Hey!” Olive shouted angrily. Kitty happily slipped the ring on her finger and held it up. “It looks good! Can I keep it?” She asked.

“You obviously can’t! If you take it, then the Sculpture looks asymmetrical. Plus, you would taking a piece of ‘my belonging.’” Olive said.

“Okay first off; if I’m paying for most of it, then technically, it’s MY belonging. And secondly, yes Kitty. You can have the ring if you want it.” I said. Kitty smiled and happily skipped off to follow Sycamore into the Studio, taking the ring with her.

“Storm! What did you do that for?!” Olive asked.

“Hey, if you’re going to spend a few hundred dollars on a random piece of art and expect me to pay for it, then the least you can do is let me decide what to do with it.” I said. She huffed angrily but didn't say anything afterwards. I decided to go and see Sycamore take pics of Kitty. I was still pretty sleepy and I figured that watching a hot girl strip down to her underwear and pose would be enough to get the blood rushing back to my brain. So I walk down the hallway and stand in the doorway of the black room where Kitty is standing in the spotlight of several lights pointing her way. Sycamore is standing on the other side of the small, square room, holding his old fashion camera.

“Alright, just take off everything but your underwear. That should be enough.” He said, getting his camera ready. Kitty nodded and removed her red shirt and black pants, revealing that her bra and panties where just as black as the walls of the room she was in. “Whoa...all black undergarments. That’s pretty slutty.” Olive said.

“Don’t be like that, Olive. You always act this way around new tenants, especially the ones that are girls. You can at least admit that she’s gorgeous.” I said. Olive didn’t respond, but from the look she gave me, I could tell she knew I was right. Kitty smiled and began to pose; doing probably whatever she could remember from watching Fashion shows. That’s what it looked like at least. My attention is drawn away from the Neko when I hear footsteps coming up from behind.

“Hey, bro. Do we still have pancakes in the fridge? I haven’t eaten all night.” Came an irish accent-heavy voice I was quite familiar with. I turned back around to see a friend of mine named Hazard walking down the hallways towards us with a hunting rifle strapped to his back. Now Hazard is a bit taller than i am (not as tall as Klein though) and has red hair; but rusty red, not like Kitty’s blood red hair. He’s also rocking the huntsman’s goatee which I thought was cool.

“Hey, Hazard! What do you mean ‘haven’t eating all night?’ Where have you been?” I asked.

“Where do you think? I was out hunting all last night. Though a good bit of the night I spent running and hiding. I accidentally shot some guy thinking he was a 14 point buck. He was definitely as big as one; might as well have shot a bear with a peashooter because he started chasing after me. Say, what’s that thing you got there, lassie?” he asked Olive.

“Oh, this is just a sculpture I got recently. Nothing special.” She said. Hazard leaned in close to inspect it. “Hmm...why is she only holding one ring?” he asked, plucking the ring off the Succubus’s left hand.

“Well, the new Tenant took the other one. It’s kinda asymmetrical now. You might as well keep that one.” Olive said.

“Really? Sure, I’ll take it. Last Friday I punched a guy so hard it shattered the gemstone on my last ring. So I figure I need a new replacement.” Hazard said. Then he slipped the ring on. Now, I knew something was off about the rings when the little symbol stamped into the metal circle that sits on the band began to glow bright pink. On closer examination, I realised it was a symbol of two arrows spinning around each other; pointed at each other’s ends.

“Uh...that’s odd…” I said, noting the glowing. Hazard just stared at it. Then his eyes began to glow bright pink. “...Hazard? Uh...you okay?” Olive asked. After a few seconds, the light died out and Hazard shook his head violently. Then he glanced around the hallway with open eyes. “...how...did I get out here?” He asked; only his voice seemed alittle off. Well, way off. But I noticed the voice sounded oddly like…

There was a scream in the studio; that kind that makes you jump and then yelp slightly yourself. My head turns a 180 degree angle to see Kitty standing there with her legs pressed together and both arms covering her breasts. “what the hell?! Why am I in my underwear?” she asked with a full face blush. Only her voice sounded weird too. More masculine and it had...sort of an Irish accent to it.

Then she looked at Sycamore. “Sycamore...why are you holding that camera? Where you…taking pictures of me in...my underwear?” She asked.

“...but...you told me I could...and why do you sound so different?” The frightened French man asked. Kitty stared down at her body. “Hold on...something isn’t right here...since when do I have breasts?” She asked.

“...okay what is going on right now?” I asked. I looked at Olive who just shrugged and then at Hazard who was also staring at his chest. “Hey, where did my breasts go? And why am I wearing all this baggy clothing?” He asked. Then he looked up and stared at Kitty, who returned the stare. They didn’t say anything for the longest time. Then Hazard slowly pointed his finger at her and said “...w-w-wait...why am I over there...when I’m over here?” He asked. Kitty practically had the same question.

That’s when I started to put it all together. It’s not like Kitty’s voice got deeper and Hazard’s voice got lighter...it was like…

“Yeah...I think Hazard and Kitty might have...switched bodies….” Olive suggested.

After staring at each other for a few more moments, they both realized it too, and let out cries of fear. “What the hell!? How did you get into my body!?!” Hazard, or Kitty as is who was currently occupying his body.

“How did I get into your body? How did you get into my body!?” Kitty, who was now Hazard, asked.

I stepped up and said what the peacekeeper usually says which is “Everybody, calm down! We aren’t going to figure out what happened if we all panic.” Nobody really calmed down, but they did shut up and look at me which gave me dominion over the problem. “Alright...so the problem is you two somehow switched bodies. What we need to know is...why? What do you two have in common? I doubt this just happened randomly.” I said.

Kitty and Hazard glanced at each other. Then they looked back at me and shrugged. Olive walked up to analyse the situation herself. “Hmm...Kitty is a sexy, heavy breasted Catgirl with blood red hair. Hazard is an obnoxious huntsman with rusty red hair and Irish ancestry. Besides the red in their hair, there is no practical similarity.” She said. I looked them up and down, trying to distinguish what might have caused it. Hazard was fully clothed and Kitty was practically not, but there was one thing they both had in common.

“The ring! They both have the ring from that stupid statue. Olive you still have it, right?” I asked, glancing over at her. She nodded and held it up. I took the somewhat heavy object in both hands and looked it over. Underneath the stone platform in which the Succubus Queen stands on, there was a stamp on it from the United States Magic Regulation Bureau that read “Warning: this object contains high amounts of Dark Magic. Use with caution.”

“...Olive?” I asked calmly.

“...yes?” she asked.

“WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS!?” I shouted. From the shock she landed back and fell right on her tight little butt. I just got on top of her, staring her down like a pissed off dragon. “Did you seriously just bring a magical artifact into this house? Do you know how dangerous these things are? Not to mention annoying!?” I asked.

“Magic!? I better get Klein.” Sycamore said. Before I could stop him, he bolted out of the room.

“Magic? So wait, me and Kitty switched bodies because I put on this ring? Well...is there like a reverse switch or something?” Kitty (Hazard) asked.

“I don’t know...try taking them off. See if it works.” Olive suggested.

They both simultaneously pulled off their rings and threw them down. Staring at each other, they waiting a few moments before sighing in disappointment. “I think I’m still trapped in a hot catgirl…” Kitty (Hazard) said.

“Not the worst thing for a guy to deal with really. Maybe we should switch the rings and see if that works.”

“No, if pulling the rings off didn’t work, switching them probably won’t help either. We need a professional.” I said.

“Like...an exorcist?” Olive suggested.

“No, those guys banish souls from bodies, we are just trying to switch two around to their right bodies. What we need is someone whose job involves work which is the opposite of anything pagan or wiccan. So...we probably need a Preacher.” I said.

“Like Pastor O’Grady? But he’s out of town.” Kitty (Hazard) said.

“No, we might need to head over to the African American church and talk to Reverend Good. It’s a Tuesday so nobody is going to be at the Church house, but he’s there nearly everyday.” I said.

Olive didn’t seem so up to the idea. “Wait...maybe we should reconsider. I mean, let’s look online for like a local Madam or someone; you know, someone who knows magic.” She suggested.

“No time. And Reverend Good probably won’t charge us for it. Let’s get Kitty….well, Hazard dressed and head over with Hazard...Kitty to the Church house and see what he can do. Speaking of our adorable little Neko who is now trapped in the body of an irishman, where is she?” I asked glancing around the room.

From now on, I’m just going to refer to Kitty and Hazard based on their personalities and you can just assume that Kitty looks like Hazard now and Hazard looks like Kitty. That will save up sometime explaining. So we wander around the first floor for a bit, looking for Kitty. We eventually find her in the bathroom with the door hanging wide open. I see that she’s turned to face the mirror and she’s holding the front part of her pants open, staring down into them.

“...Kitty...what are you doing…?” I asked. Her face shot up and a thick blush blossomed across her cheeks. “Is...that what I think it is?” She asked, pointing down. I could feel myself blush too.

“Well...yeah, I mean it is Hazard’s body...and he is a boy.” I said. Hazard walked around me and gawked when he saw Kitty. “What are you doing!? Don’t touch that!” He shouted.

“Why not?! It’s apart of my body.” Kitty said.

“But that’s not your body! It belongs to me! So keep you hands off my junk!” He yelled.


I could already tell that things were off to a bad start. Hazard put Kitty’s clothes back on and we all got into my car. Now I’m not going to go into detail about my decade old hand-me-down car, but I will say this; it sucks. There, I said it. So it didn’t help to soften the already awkward and frustrating mood. I drove and Olive sat next to me. Kitty and Hazard were in the back. “What do you think Klien is going to do when he finds out we brought a magical sculpture into his house?” Olive asked.

“He’ll be upset, no doubt. But after I get Kitty and Hazard’s bodies switched back to normal, we’re trashing that thing right away.” I said. I looked over my shoulder to see Hazard angrily fondling his breasts.

“Ugh! How do you stand these things? They’re so unwieldy!” He muttered through gritted teeth.

“Hey! Don’t grope my breasts! Just because you have my body doesn’t mean you can take advantage of it.” Kitty sneered.

“Calm down you too! This will be over soon if you just give me sometime.” I said.


After what felt like hours of listening to the two bicker in the back, we finally made it too the Church House. It was out in the forest and there was only one dirt path leading up to it. So I parked the car by a tree and stepped out. “Alright, we’re here. Come on, let’s fix this problem.” I said as the doors opened up and everybody got out.

“Uh...Storm...we can still reconsider. I mean, what if Reverend Good isn’t here? And even if he is, we don’t want to waste the man’s time!” Olive asked.

“Olive, why are you so opposed to this? Come on, we’re just going to go in to see if he can do anything about it. If he can’t, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” I replied.

Staring up at the Church House, there was an odd eeriness to the silence. Most of the building was intact, and none of the windows were open except for this one circular window directly a yard or two above the door. It was dark inside so I couldn’t see what room it was from where I was standing. Something didn’t seem right, but I didn’t notice it right away. I begin walking towards the Chapel, looking back at the guys by the car. “Come on! What are you guys waiting for?” I asked.

A whistling sound followed by a thump draws my attention. I looked down to see right where I have stopped, an arrow has struck the ground. Looking back up, I see a figure standing in the open window, wielding a crossbow. That’s pretty much what I saw, and like you, my first thought was “what the…?” Then another crossbow bolt landed right by my other foot.

“Turn around and leave! Now!” Came a voice from the window.

“Who is that? What are you doing here?” I called up to him, stepping back and preparing to dash if he aims at me again.

“I said leave!” He shouted before raising up the crossbow. I managed to jump behind cover of a rock just as a bolt struck where I was standing. “Take cover! Crazy guy with a Crossbow!” I shouted. Olive and Kitty took cover behind the car. Hazard jumped behind an old wooden cart on the side of the path. “We don’t want any trouble! We’re just looking for Reverend Good!” I called out, making sure to stay behind the rock.

“You already got trouble! That Harlot came in here and stole a valuable item from this Congregation not but earlier this morning! If she has returned, it means she’s come for more. And with accomplishes it seems. Well, as the Shepherd of my flock, I must always be able to fight off wolves.” He called out. I watched as the window of the right side passenger seat of my car shattered from another bolt. I soon recognized the voice as belonging to Reverend Good, and I only considered that he might be confusing us with someone else for a moment. Then I thought about it.

“The Succubus Sculpture? Is that what you are referring too?” I called out.

“That item is full of dark, unstable, uncontrollable magic! Its one of the many of its kind we keep locked in the cellar to prevent fools like you from stealing them, thinking they’ll grant you wishes. But they won’t, and you aren’t taking anymore!” He shouted, firing another bolt which struck the side of broken cart.

Dang it. Olive lied to me again, which wasn’t actually that surprising. But breaking into a Church to steal a dangerous magical artifact was definitely a new one on her criminal record. But now I was a situation involving a pissed off preacher and a crossbow. Not a good thing in case you’re wondering. “Hey, Storm! What do we do now? Turn around and run for the hills?” Hazard shouted across the path to me.

“No! We gotta go through with this! It’s just a misunderstanding!” I replied. Another crossbow bolt struck my car in the wheel, blowing it out. “Well, this ‘misunderstanding’ is going to earn us all a pretty deep puncture wound if we don’t think of something quick.” He said back. Dang it again. I’m always the guy they single out to solve the problem. So glancing around, I tried to think of something that would help get us to the Church house so I could get inside and explain to Rev. Good what was going on. But for that, I needed cover. That’s when I thought of something.

“Kitty! I-I mean Hazard! See if you can push that cart! We can use it as cover!” I said. Hazard nodded and began to push the cart in front of him. It didn’t bulge at first, but soon began to move. Another Crossbow bolt struck the side of the Cart, but it didn’t hit Hazard which was a good sign. “Keep going! You’re doing it!” I shouted.

“Ugh! I’m trying! But Kitty’s arms...are so...dang...weak…” He said between grunts. Kitty stood up from behind the car and said “Hey! I heard that!” A crossbow Bolt flew past her head and hit a tree.

“...on second thought...nevermind.” She said before quickly ducking behind cover again. More bolts collided with the cart but Hazard kept going. As he was passing me, I rolled out from cover of the rock and took up a spot next to him, just barely avoiding getting hit in the ankle. I helped him push, and with our combined might, the thing sped up. “You think a wooden cart will protect you!? Not only do I hold the favor of the lord, God Almighty...but I also have flaming bolts.” Reverend Good said.

“Hold on...what did he say?” I asked. Another bolt struck the front of the cart, only this one made a sound. It was like a simmering mixed with a crackling noise. The sound got louder and I could feel heat on my face. “Storm! The cart’s on fire!” Hazard shouted. To make matters worst, that wasn’t the only thing on fire. Because one glance at my left arm, I could see that the fire had spread to my sleeve.

Let me just say that I don’t handle catching on fire really well. I immediately leave the cover of the burning cart and run straight towards the Chapel, waving my arm and shouting “Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!” I literally throw myself through the door and run straight to the middle of the Sanctuary before falling on the red carpet and rolling around. Hazard ran up to the Altar, picked up the bronze bowl containing the communion wine, and dumped it on me.

So now that the fire is gone and my arm wasn’t burning, I just stood there, sitting down and panting. “...thanks man…” I said.

Hazard smiled, showing off Kitty’s beautifully white teeth. “No problem bro….are we forgetting something?” He asked. I glanced around. Looking at the doorway, my eyes wandered up to the Loft above it where a figure stood at the edge, pointing his crossbow right at us. “...oh crap…” said.

The figure stood there for a moment with his sights trained on us. Then he lowered the weapon and pulled off his hood. I could see his coffee colored complexion and short, curly black hair as well as the look of confusion on his face. “...Clouds? Cazador Clouds?” He asked, calling me by my real name. “Uh...good afternoon, Pastor…” I said.

He dropped the crossbow and glanced back at the window. “That was you? I couldn’t see your face! What are you doing with that blue haired harlot?!” He said.

“Oh, Olive? She’s just a friend. I didn’t know she stole something from this Chapel though.” I replied.

“Well she did. She stole an Artifact I should have locked in a safe instead of just left sitting out in the cellar; a sculpture with two rings that are magically connected. That bond is one that is heavily influenced with mischievous magic.” He said.

“Uh yeah...that’s kinda the reason we came here...we figured that out earlier...the hard way, if you think about it.” I said, nervously chuckling.

After the Reverend had dismounted from the loft and I was able to speak freely with him, I explained that even though Olive stole the Artifact, Kitty and Hazard put the rings on and switched bodies. We needed him to switch them back. When Olive and Kitty finally entered the room, Rev. Good was obviously not happy to see Olive, especially considering she was holding the sculpture in her arms. But never-the-less, he agreed to use Holy Energy to counteract the magic and switch their bodies as long as he got the Sculpture back and Olive would pay for stealing the object. When I realised that I would probably be the one to lend her the money to do so, I wasn’t very happy about it. But i definitely wanted this all to be over.

So the Rev instructed Kitty to stand on one side of a long, rectangular counter and Hazard at the other. He set a marble Crucifix in the middle and stood in front of it. Then he placed both hands on it and stared up into the heavens. He began to chant in German like a gregorian Monk, alternating from A really low pitch to a high pitch. He picked up speed and then ended the chant with a single word I didn’t quite catch which was shouted so loud, it rattled the stain-glass windows.. Then he closed his eyes.

After a few moments, the bright white Crucifix began to glow dark red. Hazard and Kitty’s eyes both lit up and began to glow bright white. There was a rumbling noise and then a sudden flash of light which encompassed my vision. The bright white light stayed there for a moment before slowly fading away. Then I could see everybody, standing around and looking at each other in silence. Hazard looked down at his hand and then smiled. “Yes! I’m back in my old body! Finally!” he said, leaping with joy. I was glad to see my friend returned to his tall, masculine body; it was obvious he hadn’t been handling Kitty’s body very well.

Kitty, on the other hand, seemed a bit more awestruck. She glanced down at her breasts and screamed. “Ah! My breasts got bigger!” She shouted.

“...huh?” I asked, not quite sure what she meant by that. Olive glanced down at her breasts and her eyes lit up too. “Wait...I think my breasts got smaller…” She said, cupping them and holding them up to check. Olive and Kitty locked eyes, then pointed a finger at each other.

“Wait! You’re in my body now!” They shouted in unison.

“...whoops…I think my technique was off...…” The Reverend said.

Kitty (Olive) blushed heavily and then frowned angrily. “Kitty...you better let go of my breasts and get out of my body right now!” She shouted.

“But...but I can’t just leap out of your body!” Olive (Kitty) replied.

“Well you better try, otherwise I’m pulling you out by hand!” Kitty (Olive) shouted, running straight at her. Olive (Kitty) yelped and took off running out of the Church House, with the angry cat girl chasing from behind. Pressing my hand against my face, I let out another groan of anger. “...I think I’m going to have to chase them both down now…” I muttered.

So I’d like to say my first experience with Kitty was good, seeing as ever since then, we’ve been good friends, but it’s clear that this isn’t the case. I know her alot better now then I used too, but even though the situation was awkward and unnecessarily urgent, it’s still just one of those memories I share with the many people I meet, living in a Boarding home.